Posts Tagged ‘underwear’

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a dog.

As I’ve stated on this blog many a times, I’m an introvert. And as such, making a ton of new friends isn’t too high on my priority list. It’s right below getting a tooth pulled and just a smidge above picking up a transsexual hooker.

Why is it such a problem? I’ll tell you why. (more…)

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Alright, I was a bit too serious for my own good yesterday so I’m back with my usual cheesiness.
woof woof bark barkDid I mention I just started a new diet?

The first thing I did was eliminate all the temptations from around me. Everything.

The cake from my fridge, the candy from my drawers.

I even deleted all the cookies off my computer.

Speaking of my computer, my girlfriend e-mailed me some risqué and provocative pictures today. Unfortunately, she has the least sexy panties ever.

Granny panties!  granny panties

What do you expect though? She’s 78 years old!! I guess it’s expected that she wears them.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Speaking of tricks though, I love teaching my dog new tricks. I just taught her how to play dead.

revolving_door She only does it when she’s sleeping though.

One thing I didn’t teach her to do is chase her own tail.

One day my dog started chasing her tail inside one of those revolving doors.

She didn’t get out until 8 hours later.