Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Tags: angry, cats, i like gravy, mad, men, puppies, relationships, unfunny, women
Tags: economy, life, love, money, monkey, relationships, valentine's day
“They say money can’t buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.”
It’s a sad fact that money makes the world go ’round. If you don’t want to believe so, please stop reading and go back to watching the Little Mermaid. I don’t mean to interrupt. It controls politics, media, and most importantly relationships. (more…)
Tags: kielbasa, my dog rules, pirates, relationships
Recently, I learned something about the opposite sex . . . or so I think.
Girlfriend: My butt is getting huge. I feel like I should lose weight.
Me: There’s a new gym that just opened down the street; they prbly have some great membership deals right now. Check it out!
Immediately she thinks to herself, “Great, he must also think I should lose weight. What a beavermelon this guy is!! Jeez.”
I think she looks amazing. All I wanted to do is help and somehow I’m getting the short end of the proverbial stick here! Wtf? Yarrrrrrrr. [Yes, I am a pirate.]
To me, and billions of men around the world, a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. As men, we feel an obligation to help our lady overcome the issue at hand. Alas, women aren’t looking for men to solve the problem as much as they just want a shoulder to yap on. They want sympathy, not resolutions. They want someone who will listen, not necessarily give advice.
So what am I going to say next time?
“Be quiet, I’m watching football. And get me a beer . . . and some kielbasa! Yeah! YARRRRRRRR.”