Posts Tagged ‘i love gravy’

Hang around me long enough, and you’ll slowly start to find out that the universe is conspiring against me. I’m not really sure what I did to piss it off, but universe, if you’re listening: I’m sorry. You can stop picking on me now. Thanks.

george_clooneyIf my life was ever made into a movie, it would be titled ‘Murphy’s Law‘. It would also be an animated 3-D film and George Clooney would play the role of yours truly. Yes, I believe that sounds about right.

The best example I can give is my troubles with parking lots. It truly is a microcosm of my entire life experiences. Like every normal person, as soon as I pull into a parking lot I begin to drive around, looking for an open space. Naturally, I first check near the entrance of the store, restaurant, bar, etc. Let’s face it, no one likes a long walk. Most people out there, they find those open spots. I wonder what the must feel like because for me, I never see them. Never. In all my years of driving. Never.

Now, that by itself is no big deal. And I would agree, a little exercise never hurt anyone. But the story doesn’t end there, oh no. It doesn’t end there.



Hello? Is this thing on? *tap tap*

This blog started off so well, daily updates and seemingly never ending material. In the beginning, it was a place to write down my corny jokes, random musings, and humorous observations. Then it became an outlet for me to voice my rants that couldn’t be voiced elsewhere. Peppered here and there was the occasional drawing that would make a kindergarten teacher cringe. All effortlessly.

But then I just became too self-conscience about my blog. I feared most of what I wanted to write wasn’t going to be up to par with what people expected. The people I’m referring to is whoever is reading this right now. YES YOU!! All three of you. Maybe four of you. Five? Okay six. . . . possibly seven. There’s a chance it could be eight or nine. Let’s say ten. Ten of you. That’s right, I’m talking to all twenty of you reading this blog.

Back when I had a personal online journal (not a diary, guys don’t have diaries) it was ‘locked’ so that no one could read it but me. I wrote in that thing every day for about two years straight and never once worried about what I was going to write in it. I was never at a loss for words nor did I debate the topic of conversation. Why? I knew I wasn’t writing for anyone else but me. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting feedback about this blog. It’s just, after awhile, I felt as if I wasn’t writing for myself anymore. I felt pressured to write for all three of you reading this and I couldn’t submit anything that wasn’t above average material.

Questions I ask myself are, “Is this too long/too short?” “Is it funny enough?” “Is it worth posting?” “Will anyone care?” “Why did I let my dog grow so fat?” Usually I end up just saying ‘fuck it’ and simply not writing anything at all. It’s the least stressful path. You can’t fail if you don’t try, right? I really shouldn’t care so much, but I do. I’m the type of person that likes doing something right or not doing it at all. I’m a prefectionist. I dnt allow for ANYY mistakes . . . EVER!!

But I’ve been wanting to write again. Usually, when I feel that desire to write deep inside, good things come out. Whenever it’s forced, that’s when I start to doubt myself. That fire is building up again. Would it be better if I set this blog to ‘private’? Maybe. But I’d rather not. I’m a private guy, (some would argue, TOO private) and often don’t let all my emotions and stories pour out unless it’s behind closed doors. I need to change that. So perhaps I’ll write in this, pretending it’s just for me and no one else is listening. It’s my fault though. I can’t help but to read what other people are writing and comment on their blogs, so in turn they come here, read and comment on mine. I’m sure if I stopped writing on other people’s blogs mine would get much less traffic, if any. Which is fine. Perhaps I shall stop commenting on others blogs so that mine gets less attention. I’ll be damned if I don’t love getting comments though!!!!

Crap. Catch 22. Guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too. My dog loves cake, and I do too.