Archive for the ‘yokes’ Category

A south Florida child was recently arrested for attacking her parents after refusing to go to bed.

She’s been charged with resisting a rest.

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lol

Recently for my birthday, a friend gave me the gift of coupons. A small book chock full of rebates, all ready to be clipped along the dotted lines. But instead of 50% off steak entrees and two-for-one car washes, all the coupons were limited to one particular store — a local pharmacy. My friend decided the best present to give me was a pamphlet filled with discounts on cough syrup and antiseptics. Alas, she gave it to a completely healthy person.

Now I am not the type to waste perfectly good coupons! It’s like throwing away money. And only fools throw away money. I, most certainly, am not a fool. Which is why I spent the next few weeks tirelessly trying to get ill.

sick pupThat’s right. Whenever someone sneezed or coughed, it was like my bat signal. I was there before you could say ‘swine flu’, face in their personal space soaking up all the germs I possibly could.

Why am I reusing this snotty tissue you ask? Um, I’m going green and saving the environment of course! Oh you dropped a cookie on the floor . . . two days ago? Consider it eaten. Yes, I was the one who drank the rest of the soda pop you left in the fridge. Yes, I know you have a sore throat. Stop looking at me like that.

Nothing worked.

I tried my hardest, but no matter what I did I couldn’t seem to get sick. In fact, it seemed my immune system was actually getting stronger! Dejected, I finally gave up my quest and in a fit of anger, ripped that coupon book to little shreds.

I got sick two days later.

runny nose

in yo face!!!

Posted: February 6, 2009 in yokes
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A woman in Cleveland recently underwent a groundbreaking new surgery. She was the first person ever in the United States to receive a face transplant. That’s right, a face transplant. New nose, lips, everything. Doctors are pleased with the results and say she’s expected to make a full recovery.

In a related story, the woman is now the new spokesperson for Mrs. Potato Head.

best birthday ever?

Posted: February 1, 2009 in yokes
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surprise!!A kindergartner in Dayton, Nevada got quite the birthday gift. After ripping off a couple layers of wrapping paper, he discovered his dad had come back from his tour in Iraq! What a surprise, huh?

When asked about his gift, the child replied, “It was nice, but I really wanted a Wii, hope you kept the receipt.”

No word yet on whether the exchange has been made yet.

baby Recently, a woman in southern California gave birth to octuplets. That’s right. Eight babies at once.

Due to the struggling economy, three of the babies have already filed for unemployment.