About Me

Welcome to my blog.

If you’re reading this page you’ve either been duped by me into doing so or are under the influence of a drug that makes you want to look at random websites. If it’s the latter, please contact your local poison control center . . . but please bookmark this page first!

I will be using this blog to jot down whatever crazy ideas enter my mind from time to time. I’ve made it simply for my amusement. Some of the content is serious and other parts . . . not so much. The line between the two is blurry. Sometimes even I can’t tell which is which.

I’ve noticed people actually visit this “About” page so I’m gonna add a little bit more info to round things out. I’m a dude who enjoys sleep, food, reading, writing, learning, rough-housing with my dog, sports, art, music, friends, sharing, laughing, nature, fixing stuff I have no idea how to fix, poker, meeting people, Scrabble, the smell of old books, staring at clouds, quantum mechanics, drinking gravy, babies in funny costumes, thunderstorms in bed, dreaming, making weird faces, OLD episodes of The Simpsons, getting lost in Wikipedia articles, thinking of ways to get my dog in the news, funny internet pics, GREAT movies, the way the air smells before it rains, fair food, black and white films, challenging strangers to a game of rock paper scissors, physics, good beer, watching Jeopardy!, sunsets and sunrises, cheesy jokes, watching the bad guy win, British accents, the beach, freestyling over a funky beat, street art, conversing with people who think outside the box, stargazing, laying in bed, hearing old people talk about the good ol’ days, the occasional bong hit, time-lapse photography, more sleep, giving people weird looks as I drive past them, seeing people do good things in the news, history, heartbeats, girls with half-sleeve tats, getting cuts and scrapes, watching the home team lose at the buzzer, the sound effects used in old Looney Tunes cartoons, pasta, PBS, pizza, pronouns,  pumpernickle, Picasso, peacenquiet, practicality, and finally alliteration.

There you have it.

Anyways, I’ll try to update my blog whenever I can. I wanna become a better writer and hopefully this will help. If not . . . well, I’m having fun anyways. I’ve always been taught that’s what counts above all.

peace n chicken grease,

– J


  1. S. Le says:

    Very much enjoyed the description of your blog. Brilliant! Found you through Planetross (I am the Cheese) and followed the link. Do I need the poison control center? It wasn’t really random was it? Just curiosity. DO I NEED HELP?!? ANSWER ME!!

    Sorry. Got carried away there.

  2. shoegirlramblings says:

    Love your blog… I’m adding it to my roll…. 🙂 thanks for the laughs!

  3. theladymel says:

    My friend dresses her dog up and takes him to politically charged rally’s—so far no news cameras yet, but I think it’s a spectacular plan.

  4. Wulfgar says:

    Dammit you made me smile when I’m supposed to be all depressed and stuff.

  5. Hithere, dahlinks, \o/
    What you need to do is come by and see me, and, please do bring your furkids with you. I love company and have a few furkids of my own, as you will see, when you come visit me. Ces’t si Bon. My life. WOW. Oui!

    I’m Rafa Nadal’s girlfriend.

    Contessa ChiChi

  6. The Totton linnet says:

    We used to have an invisible dog, it was just a starched lead which we pushed in front of us, we took it to political rallies in Hyde park “hey watch it, you’re treading on my dog” you should see the people give way

  7. Turd Ferguson says:

    Hey Otto Mann,
    I’d like to link exchange with you. Hit me back.

  8. consider yourself bookmarked! 🙂

  9. therealmotherlode says:

    LOVE your blog! Thanks for commenting on my blog and leading me to here….

  10. Turd Ferguson says:

    Hey Ottomann,
    What I meant was if you add my blog to your list of “Links”, then I would add yours to my list. This will generate a few more readers for both of us.

  11. donstuff says:

    This is great. Thanks for the laughs.

  12. mynooch says:

    Otto is #1 in The Noz book ..

  13. thenoz says:

    Dewd i still read your about section daily …. its like a catholic mass 😉 keep it up Otto nice work

  14. oorvi says:

    You are right, you duped me:) I thought you were a canine blogger!

  15. Jennifer says:

    I suppose you duped me… I read your comment on my page, then wondered – who is this Otto Man? I find your blog entries pretty darn interesting, with a smidgen of hilarious – so I added you to my blog roll… hope you don’t mind!

  16. V says:

    HAH! LOOOVE this about me page!! I see we have a lot in common! Awesome!

  17. cabsplace says:

    You duped me by leaving a comment on my blog…but I should probably call the poison control center too. I’m glad you enticed me here. This is hilarity at it’s best and I love the way you write. You made my blogroll, hope you’re good with that.

  18. Hmmm. Very interesting blog. Think I might come back. Thanks.

  19. Bunk Strutts says:

    The Carl Stalling Project was made just for you.

  20. yogaBerri says:

    Dear Otto,
    Thank you for visiting my website.
    And I knew that you knew that if you don’t read the directions, you might wind up with Milk, instead of Dark, Chocolate.

  21. ispyu says:

    My local poison control center says they can not do anything for me until I decide to stop dealing. I will not stop. I can not stop. Besides, if I stop, how will people ever find your blog?

    Do you like how I just gave myself full credit for people finding you? LOL

  22. GYL says:

    I have a disease and it is called being an anal retentive bitch (and English teacher) Here in Oz we have an extra ‘u’ in superfl(u)ous 😉

    ….or are you being ironic and I am too uncool to get it? Sigh. I am always the uncool one 😦

    Got here via Pammy Shepherd and I muchly enjoying my nose around.

  23. Thanks for checking out my blog…I read a bit on your blog and it’s funny stuff.

    Mind if I add you to my blogroll? That way ALL of my readers can more easily find YOUR blog! ^_^*

    Hehe, hope to hear from you soon! -Ashley

  24. Drea M. says:

    I use the word ‘splendiferous’ at least 4 times daily, so you scare me.

    I’ve moderated your comment and you now (eeps!) have carte blanche on my blog. Use it well. 🙂

  25. hismuse says:

    It was great to get a chance to check out your blog!

  26. paulina says:

    we used to live in a house with a ghost dog.

    um… yeah. 🙂

  27. Laughs were much needed, hehe.

    Love your blog! Humor=good medicine.

  28. beyondtheoutside says:

    So you dont know me, right? You just like to read my blog?? I think that’s cool and interesting-what is it about my blog that makes you keep coming back?

  29. lolavanloo says:

    Hey Otto,
    I’ve read some posts and the “About me” part. I like it. 😉
    Have fun and enjoy your time as a blogger. I’ll enjoy reading your posts now.

  30. And our stack of cards just fell says:

    Maybe it was neither? Maybe I tricked you into reading mine and then you commented! HA! Straight on “about me”…nice work.

  31. whatigotsofar says:

    New here, interesting stuff by the looks of it so far.

  32. Your blog beats the bulk of them. You show stupendous style. 😉

    I love alliteration too. The beginning of a beautiful friendship.

    Thanks for visiting my blog, I will keep coming back to yours.


  33. KellyCo says:

    Thanks for the post on my Anti-V-Day story, like your blog, I am adding it to my roll!!!!!

  34. coogie says:

    Despite the gal discussion gone halfway wrong on your latest post I love your blog. Made me laugh quite a few times and there’s nothing better (especially after a short holiday in Chile…). My favourite is the cauliflower one. Genius! Hope to see more of those. Good luck with less gals bashing 😉

  35. missparlee says:

    Hello there, I saw that you made a comment on my blog, thanks for that! Just stopping by to see what your deal is and let me tell you…I had quite a laugh. You are hilarious.

  36. jruth says:

    awesomely amazed and all agog anticipating another alliteration adorer ah ah ah . . .

    hi. thank you for the kind word at my quiet little blog just beginning baby steps slowly and so seriously. you remind me of that part of myself a wee bit braver and not so weary. glad you found me. now i can read your blog and grin, guffaw and gasp. truly. smashing great stuff here. i hope you don’t mind if i put you on my blogroll.

  37. boyeong12989 says:

    Well I’m quite honored that my ramblings spurred your ramblings :). Not a bad write at all…

  38. Esther Poyer says:

    all about having fun.. seconded! the journey’s where its at, not just the destination.. an’ all a that 😉

  39. stuttgal says:

    I found you again, yea! I lost my blogroll after switching blogs – thank goodness I have a brilliant memory and remembered the “A splendiferous spectacle of supernatural and superfluous soliloquies”. (That’s a lie btw, I only remembered ottomann…)

  40. Tooty Nolan says:

    British accents? I WRITE in a British accent. You’d love me!

  41. beckyyk says:

    i was drugged. that’s why i’m here.

  42. xbloodrushx says:

    You’re hilarious! 😀 Just saying… I like to make weird faces at people while driving too! One time I got this reaaallly old man to stick his tongue back at me! 😀

    Anywho, I’m subscribed! (:

  43. thatgirlwhit says:

    you are uniquely amusing. thankyou.

  44. merissybil says:

    You sir, have an awesome blog! 😀

  45. Silent_Dan says:

    Very enjoyable ‘about’ thing. Also, I dig the theme.

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