ukraine girls really knock me out

Posted: September 27, 2009 in yokes
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Recently for my birthday, a friend gave me the gift of coupons. A small book chock full of rebates, all ready to be clipped along the dotted lines. But instead of 50% off steak entrees and two-for-one car washes, all the coupons were limited to one particular store — a local pharmacy. My friend decided the best present to give me was a pamphlet filled with discounts on cough syrup and antiseptics. Alas, she gave it to a completely healthy person.

Now I am not the type to waste perfectly good coupons! It’s like throwing away money. And only fools throw away money. I, most certainly, am not a fool. Which is why I spent the next few weeks tirelessly trying to get ill.

sick pupThat’s right. Whenever someone sneezed or coughed, it was like my bat signal. I was there before you could say ‘swine flu’, face in their personal space soaking up all the germs I possibly could.

Why am I reusing this snotty tissue you ask? Um, I’m going green and saving the environment of course! Oh you dropped a cookie on the floor . . . two days ago? Consider it eaten. Yes, I was the one who drank the rest of the soda pop you left in the fridge. Yes, I know you have a sore throat. Stop looking at me like that.

Nothing worked.

I tried my hardest, but no matter what I did I couldn’t seem to get sick. In fact, it seemed my immune system was actually getting stronger! Dejected, I finally gave up my quest and in a fit of anger, ripped that coupon book to little shreds.

I got sick two days later.

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Comments
  1. kavita says:

    hohohohoho, good to see you on the circuit again, ottoman!

  2. planetross says:

    I got a pregnancy test one year on my birthday, but it’s expired now.
    stupid expiry dates!!!!

  3. S. Le says:

    That’s the law of irony.

    Glad to see you back! Thought you might have celebrated your birthday a bit too much and were still recovering!

  4. Susi Spice says:

    im not liking this posting a comment to you and u not replying to ME anymore 😛 i feel like im talking to some stranger on the other side of the world whom ive never met before in my life…oh wait…

    PS lots of lemon honey tea 🙂 juice of 2 lemons honey to taste and ta-da! ull be all better.

  5. leakelley says:

    Life is complex in the Otto Mann Empire, huh?
    The irony of it all…

  6. jruthkelly says:

    dejection does it EVERY time!

  7. Amy says:

    Glad to see you posting! 😀

  8. Susi Spice says:

    i was glad you wrote back 😀 hehe those pupusas are cookin right now! just for vous! 😀

  9. sly0208 says:

    Hi Otto! I got your comment on my ‘no longer’ blog. I have officially deleted that blog now. But apparantly, I’m having trouble getting my username to link back correctly to my current, active blog. I’ve been working on it, and hopefully it will work right after I post this.

    Thanks for visiting again! I’m still around…just trying to get this work right! 🙂

  10. sly0208 says:

    Yes! It worked!! YAY!!

    So get to it, you!! 😀

  11. Selma says:

    Hahaha. Glad those coupons came in handy after all. Hope you had a happy birthday!

  12. It’s karma my friend, good ol karma. And then you die….

  13. Romi says:

    “Why am I reusing this snotty tissue you ask?”….hahaha…you’re a freak! An amusing and gross one 😉

  14. chloe says:

    good things come to those who wait (?)
    🙂

  15. Kop says:

    should have loaded up on sunglasses and pharmacy candy. Peppermint swirls and the like.

  16. Kop says:

    should have loaded up on sunglasses and pharmacy candy. Peppermint swirls and the like.

  17. Justin says:

    Haha. It always happens that way. Or, the coupon book would have expired before the next time you got sick. Happy birthday…super belated. Haven’t been blogging much. Sorry

  18. TheWildMind says:

    You crack me up!! Now, to get you posting more than once a month! LOL!

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