for richer or . . . wait, what?!

Posted: February 11, 2009 in r-flection!#
Tags: , , , , , ,


They say money can’t buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.”

It’s a sad fact that money makes the world go ’round. If you don’t want to believe so, please stop reading and go back to watching the Little Mermaid. I don’t mean to interrupt. It controls politics, media, and most importantly relationships.

Ask any woman what she wants in a partner and she’ll inevitably say, “Um, well let’s see .anna_nicole_smith . . a sense of humor, intelligence, similar interests”. None of them will start off by saying, “He’s gotta have a FAT bank account.” They’re thinking it though. Don’t get me wrong, personality and looks play a role. Confidence is key as well. It’s rarely just about the money. But finances are really one of the, if not the most, important factors in how attractive a woman finds a man. The more money you have, the more forgiving they are in all other areas. But it’s never said out loud.

When researchers conducted a speed-dating test, they found that women did not choose the men whom they shared the most in common with or were most similar to, as they stated before the test, but the ones who had the higher paying jobs. (article here) In nature, the female peacock goes after the male with the biggest, most extravagant feathers. Not the peacock cracking cheesy jokes.

400500trumpwife Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Money translates into power which, in turn, translates into respect. Sexuality is based on respect and admiration. As a man, once she loses that respect for you it’s time to bust out the lotion and tissues my friend. It’s over. As the old proverb goes, “When poverty comes in through the door, love flies out the window.” A lot of relationship issues seem to vanquish when there is money. Women have an incentive to stick around when their man is successful. Not when he’s in the lower tax bracket.

It’s not just limited to celebrities. How many married men are being used by women to get a nice house and a nice lifestyle?  Sure they may care about their husband, but they may have picked him over other men because of the lifestyle that came with marrying him. It’s the sad truth, don’t shoot the messenger.

If you’re a woman and saying to yourself, “That’s not me! I don’t care about money at all!” then it’s definitely you and you’re just lying to yourself because you don’t want to face the truth. Please realize that you’re in the majority.

pg2_hefner_girlfriends_300 This point of view isn’t one of a jaded soul. I’m not saying all women are gold diggers. There are certainly women to whom wealth and popularity isn’t the determining factor. I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who cares more about who I am as a person rather than what I can provide her with, be it money or social status. Creativity is treasured more than net worth.

Unfortunately, society in general has gotten all of these things backwards. After all, diamonds are forever right? Commercials tell us, “Show her you how much you love her by buying her some roses and a box of chocolates. Don’t forget the card! Spend! Spend! Spend! Remember, love is equal to the amount spent!!!”

monkey-flowers-smile-300So like robots, whenever February 14th rolls around, men everywhere buy overpriced flowers, chocolate, and cards. Look at those trained monkeys go! YEEHAW!!! Dance monkey! Dance!!! Spend that money on clichés!!

But hey, that’s just the way the world works. Somewhere along the line, it’s beaten into our heads that success is defined by how many things you can buy. It’s the reason so many people are in debt, slaves to the credit card companies. It’s the reason  why so many women put as much emphasis on affluent men as they do. To quote Lily Tomlin, “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” There’s so much more to life than money. Never forget.

p.s. This is the last “relationship” type post I’m going to make for awhile. Two in row? Jeez. Whatever happened to making jokes about spaghetti?

  1. Susi Spice says:

    funny u should post about this ottomann my friends and i know this girl Carly (we have posted about her) today she sends us an email that she is going on a date with a guy. I ask who it is, she replies it was a guy went on a date with last year, she initially rejected in favour of another based on the other guys job. So the other guy finally wisened up and dumped her, so now she is going back to this guy and i asked her why she is dating a guy she wasnt attracted to… her response was classic… and i quote *clear throat* “well he owns a yatch, owns a home by the beach and given the economic climate… he he” wtf!? man this is guy we have all basically stayed away from her she has become ashamedly a gold digger. very embarrassing. i give this relationship 2 months tops.

  2. Simple evolution…it is the self preservation instinct.

  3. eskarina says:

    aaah…. the impulse to go for something comfortable … which in the long run will come to bite you in the ass!

    when I was in college, an older woman in my family found out I’d spent a summer camp with some people who had more dough than me, asked me in the most serious voice:

    “and why didn’t you get involved with one of them?”

    my mum is practically the ONLY woman in my family, hers or my dad’s side, who doesn’t preach about men with money.

    quote my grandma : “Love does not relieve hunger”

    I am a chick who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about men’s incomes.

    there are others like me, you know, I hope you meet one of them some day…

    oh I almost forgot: there are MANY men who are after the woman’s money. I know a girl whose ex husband is a serial husband, at his 3rd marriage now, for money and for a home he hopes to kick his spouse out of…

    I also met an bright, tallented fellow who worked in advertising and chose his wife for her money…

    and yes i also had a “scrub” as a boyfriend, but I’d kicked him to such a distant corner of my memory …


  4. Wynn says:

    Hey, I’m just gonna have to say that Hey, that’s not me! and it’s definitely not me. I swear. So, I don’t mingle around with millionaires and stuff, but at least I have dumped a cute nice one that promised me gold and fun stuff, because it didn’t feel right. I lack the ability to be with people that I’m not comfortable with, and no amount of money or power can change that. This is just regarding myself, I would sure like to have money because I have never ever had any to spare, but I would never stay with someone because they did, nor find more interest in someone who has. You can never generalize and say that -everyone- is this or that way, and you know that 😉

  5. eskarina says:

    ooops! I’d only read half of the article when i posted the 1st comment.*slaps forehead*

    I am glad you actually found someone who cares about you as a person.

    even in Romania, the trained monkeys have started spending for February the 14th.

    why celebrate love when you can have fun shopping and gathering Things and More Things like a squirrel gathers his nuts? why make love just like that and not worry about the discounts on satin sheets, lingerie, candles and chocolates?

  6. Deanna says:

    I hate articles like that…though I guess it’s mostly true? I dunno, I really don’t know a lot of girls with guys with money. LOL And I certainly was never out for the money…though when I started dating my husband, at the age of 15, fun was definitely more important than money! lol He didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together at that time, and that was just fine by me because he was freakin’ hilarious! Turns out I got lucky though, because he is a hard worker, a great provider for our family…and still freakin’ hilarious! 🙂

    I’ve actually known 2 MEN who’ve married for money…or so it would seem. They’ve tried to deny it but I don’t believe them. So, it does work both ways. As for Valentine’s Day, we dont’ really participate in that much. Hubby may buy me a little something, only for show for the kids, who he also buys for. It’s never anything big and overly expensive. He’s the type to buy gifts for no reason at all…which means I get way more “valentine’s days” than just the one that comes once a year. 😉

  7. The Unlikely Heroine says:

    Hold the phone.

    “I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who cares more about who I am as a person rather than what I can provide her with, be it money or social status.”

    Yet, if anyone responds to your post with claims that we’re not like that, either, we’re DEFINITELY like that? Interesting. Wrong, too.

    I’ve outearned every man I’ve ever been with, including my ex-husband. I don’t make an exorbitant sum, myself. Just enough to pay the bills, really. I honestly don’t give two shits about how much money my guy earns. If I can’t have reasonably intelligent conversation with him, nothing else — looks, money, or the size of his weiner — matters.

    Just sayin’.

  8. I want money, lots and lots of money!

  9. Otto Mann says:

    “Yet, if anyone responds to your post with claims that we’re not like that, either, we’re DEFINITELY like that? Interesting. Wrong, too.”

    haha, okay so maybe that part was exaggerated for dramatic effect. Like I said, not all women are like that. But the majority of them all. Sad but true!

  10. The Unlikely Heroine says:

    Oh, absolutely. My response was knee-jerk in nature; I was reading your entry and thinking to myself, “Hey! I’m not like that!” 😉

    I know plenty who are definitely like that, such as the mother of my (soon-t0-be-ex) boyfriend of five years. She won’t approve of me because I don’t come from a “good” family (“good,” of course, meaning “wealthy”). The hypocrisy in this sickens and amuses me, as she has never held a meaningful job in her life and continues marrying up, to men who are not much to look at and are MUCH older than she is, but a phat bank account is apparently a great substitute for a chronically flaccid penis.

    Boyfriend’s inability to detach himself from Mama’s willing teat is a story for another time.

  11. The Unlikely Heroine says:

    Also, eat your heart out:


    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  12. The Unlikely Heroine says:

    That first link is wrong and I have no idea where it came from. The second will suffice, though.

    Sorry for being all comment-y, and stuff.

  13. annieepoetry says:

    People say money doesn’t make them happy. I never got that. Nobody says, fug yeah, i am poor, hipporraaaaay, i finally poor. thank god I am poor unless they are bitter and given up.

    If a rich guy wants beautiful woman most people don’t call him a pussy digger.

    In our capitalist society money means education, stability, and freedom. Who wouldn’t want bloody diamonds for their selves or offspring?

    Of course, I don’t want money, then I would go places and do things and I wouldn’t write poems about fish spoilage. That would mess with my 12 step program of how to lay a man with fish cliches and i would probably have to start over (i’m already at step 11 and fat)

  14. Stale Oreos and Sunshine says:

    Omg, definitely makes me think of The Millionaire Matchmaker, classiest television show ever.

  15. hmphilipp says:

    Hmmm… I have dated plenty of very wealthy men (as well as not so wealthy and even monetarily “poor” men) and can say that though security and stability for my future family are important to me, money and power absolutely do not trump character, heart, and connection. Never have, never will. I think it is only when a woman loses heart in these things being truly available to her and to her being worthy of them (the loss of which our culture unfortunately encourages) that she settles for less than the most nourishing, healthy options in relationship. Sometimes that package comes with a luxurious level of financial freedom. Sometimes it does not. Who wouldn’t prefer the former (including you, bourbon-lover). 😉 ~ Heather

  16. whatigotsofar says:

    I believe the female peacock is called a peahen or just a hen. The cock is usually indicative of the male of the species.

    As for the female of my species, they love money because money can buy them purses. This new purse then requires matching shoes. But the matching shoes are uncomfortable so they stay in the closet and therefore, the purse as well. So the female must return to the store to buy another purse. This process repeats until death.

  17. julavies says:

    Otto Mann, I don’t think the majority of us women are like that, look at the pictures you’ve used as examples…
    Those girls are bubble heads. Listen, it could easily be said that men are only after good looks, big boobs, fine asses, and younger women (those pictures can also be used as examples in this case!).
    You see, there are people in these world that deserve each other, and they are not wrong… If you care about money why not look for it, if you like big boobs why would you marry a flat chested woman…if you want and care about people’s true essence, with no money or looks involved you simply have to find someone that has the same idea of partnership as you…
    Anyways, I’m glad you’re happy, and like oranges…and found someone nice!
    Thanks for your comment on my blog. Don’t loose your faith man! Most people mean well, I still believe…hehe:)

  18. sly0208 says:

    I’m thinking ‘those’ women possess a certain ‘mask’ that many of the rest of us just cannot demean ourselves to walk around in. They’re good at playing the game with all that goes along with such lifestyles, and the rest of us just have no desire to be good at it. We could care less. Money does make this world go ’round it seems, but I’d rather have someone to grow old with than someone who ‘might’ leave me a little cash behind.

  19. airolyn says:

    lol @ whatigotsofar. amen, man.

    yet its not entirely true.
    at all.

    i certainly do agree that many people are like this and look too deeply at how much income their significant other can provide, but not all of us.

    money is, however, important. I wish i could say we could all survive only on love, but love doesnt feed people, or clothe them, or give them shelter.

    a personality, however, is WAY more important.

    we all do, however, care about money to some degree, be it small or large. dont deny it. im not calling people selfish, its simply a fact. its the will to live, and, kind of unfortunately, in todays day and age to live u need money.

    yea, end of comment – my train of thought crashed!

  20. coogie says:

    Weheeeell, there are girls like that, but don’t give me that lying to ourselves stuff, PLEEAASSSEEE, cause it’s just not true for all of us (like most cliches). I’ve never been into money, never dated a rich guy, my friends are not rich, it’s a general attitude I think. I even “downgraded” my own life going from middle class job/car/no lack of nothing to living on next to nothing in one of the poorer countries, and loving it. I’m just not driven by money. As long as the basics are covered and I get some quality time with good people it’s all cool.
    Actually I found it easier to be happy with less money, it makes you concentrate more on what really matters.
    Plus, guys who show off their bank account are hideously unsexy to me either way…

  21. Otto Mann says:

    I’d like to reiterate some things:

    1.) I know not ALL women are like this, just most. Maybe it’s like a 65/35 split. I don’t know the exact number, but it’s the majority. So, I repeat, not all women exhibit the aforementioned characteristics.

    2.) I also know money is not the ONLY reason some women get with guys. I’m simply saying it’s the biggest factors that attract a woman to a guy. Yes, there are other factors like looks, humor, compatibility, etc. But out of all those factors, money tops them all with most women.

    I believe both those things to be true. Again, I’m not saying money is the ONLY reason, just the BIGGEST reason. Not with all women though!! Remember that disclaimer.

    Hope that clears things up. 🙂

  22. eskarina says:

    haha it was about time for that reiteration.
    I suspect mine won’t be the last comment on this post.

  23. Susi Spice says:

    ottomann i dont think i quite got what you are trying to say…. are you trying to say that you dont think ALL women are golddiggers? I am not sure you made yourself clear there honey hahhaa. hugs.

  24. moreprivate says:

    Once I moved to America, I found myself to be richer, but much less happy.

  25. mollyschoemann says:

    This is something I have thought about a lot.

    My parents were both in the theatre business, and money has never been something they were interested in making a lot of. We never had a lot growing up, but we made do. I’ve always been more interested in doing what makes me feel fulfilled and happy (and finding a way to support myself in the process), than in making a lot of money doing something I didn’t care about.

    I grew up in Manhattan and went to a wealthy private school and was constantly surrounded by money and power, and possibly because of the way I was raised, it never occured to me to be interested in any of it. Maybe I’m just naive, or slow. But it’s true. I honestly don’t care about having a lot of money. If I did maybe I would have gone to dental school instead of getting a BA in Literature and Creative Writing.

    Also, supporting myself is EXTREMELY important to me. I don’t ever want to feel like I can’t take care of myself financially. The idea of being financially supported by anyone else is shameful to me, just like it would be to you. I don’t think that’s crazy either.

    Also, I have not ever been interested in men who were pursuing careers that were going to lead them to a lot of wealth because– surprise! those men were boring to me, because I find investment-banking etc. to be DULL, and I don’t have much in common with people who care about becoming wealthy.

    Granted, I don’t want a boyfriend who is constantly unemployed and unable to take care of himself, any more than I would want to bring that to a relationship. But I think both partners should share responsibilities as equally as possible.

  26. pastfirst says:

    You’re generalising.
    Everyone likes money, but I think it’s more about power.
    Women like powerful men, men who show authority and know what they’re talking about. Women like strength of character (and if he also has some money…)

  27. darkeve says:

    I agree with pastfirst. It’s mostly power! I also think that power is usually paired with money.. so again it’s money!

  28. I always say I’d rather be happy and hungry than full and empty.

  29. pastfirst says:

    Aiden, I liked your comment!

  30. shoegirlramblings says:

    Interesting piece Otto, though like many others, I’m going to have to disagree with you and maybe even your averages and put it more at 35/65 … Or, maybe it’s just that I’ve been lucky with the friends and relationships that I’ve surrounded myself with where how much money our boyfriend or husband makes honestly is NOT the ruling factor.

    As someone else stated earlier, I’ve made as much if not more money than almost every guy I’ve dated and so have most of my friends. We’ve found guys that make us laugh (one of the top qualities in my book), and are just overall great, caring people. Now, I’m not going to lie and say that looks don’t play a role in the initial attraction, but even good looks won’t keep you around if there’s nothing behind the pretty face and in reality, if one of the first things a guy starts talking to me about is how much money he makes, I immediately lose interest… To me, the only person whose bank account really matters is mine…

    Great way to get the dialogue going… nice job. 😉

  31. Cat says:

    So…this discussion brings up a good question that I wonder if anyone has considered:
    Does it work the other way? Do women need money to get the man?
    My experience and my observation is yes, it definitely helps, but if she doesn’t and she’s a real hottie, she might be forgiven for being poor.
    Just somethin’ to think about.

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