The latest Miss America was just crowned. Congratulations Katie Stam AKA Ms. Indiana.
Congrats for what? I’m not really sure.
I don’t get the point of beauty pageants. At all.
Take away the audience, take away the cameras broadcasting the show to millions thousands of viewers around the world, and what do you have?
52 women (yes, I know how many States there are) with way too much make-up on being judged by a panel of complete strangers. That’s all it is.
Seems a bit odd doesn’t it? Not to mention quite superficial.
“But Otto Mann,” you proclaim, “they also have a talent and questionnaire part of the pageant! It’s not all about the looks!”
I say to you, dear stay-at-home mom, it’s all a farce.
Take for example the question presented to this year’s winner:
Do you believe athletes are role models?
That’s not a difficult question at all. They should be asking these women to compare and contrast the probabilistic nature of subatomic particles versus the deterministic nature of general relativity and it’s effect on gravity. Alas, if you remember Ms. South Carolina from last year, you can’t blame the people running the show for not asking hard questions. Next year I predict the question will be:
Do you prefer puppies over kittens? And if so, why?
And then there’s the so called “talent” portion of the program. And I use the word talent very, very loosely because singing like a cat being choked to death does not constitute talent. Neither does prancing around like a 5 year old with ADD. I’m sorry, I believe they refer to it as “interpretive dance”?
Let’s face it, good looking people get what they want FAR more often than average looking people. Don’t believe me? When’s the last time you saw an absolutely gorgeous homeless person? That’s right, never. A secretary can be dumb as rocks, but if she fills out her blouse quite nicely, her boss will keep her on. It’s the way the world works, don’t shoot the messenger.
So how about we scrap this whole beauty pageant thing? But let’s keep Miss America! She will now be judged on intelligence, respect for herself and others, personality, sense of humor, goals and personal achievements. There shall not be one winner, but many. And they will travel the country fighting illiteracy and child obesity through education.
(But please, keep the swimsuit portion of the show.)
Okay, okay, I’m starting to sound like a feminist trapped in a man’s body here, if it wasn’t for the last part I added I would have had to check my boxers to see if my balls were still there. I apologize for the long, semi-serious rant. They can’t all be jokes!! I’ll try to redeem myself tomorrow. Promise.