I’m in shape. An oval is a shape.

Posted: January 6, 2009 in r-flection!#
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Today I was reminiscing about one of my middle school teachers from way back when. What made this particular instructor memorable was his size. He was morbidly obese.

I heard rumors, as you often do on the playground during kickball, that he used to be a pro football player in the 70s. He supposedly broke his leg and was forced to retire early. He fell victim to depression and began to eat . . . for 20 fucking years straight. This dude was FAT. Like, “I don’t give a fuck anymore” kinda fat.

Did I mention he was my gym teacher?

I never really noticed the irony in that fact until today. Maybe they just hired him to scare kids into fitness. Children, this is what you will become if you don’t exercise regularly. This is what “I give up on life” looks like.  This guy looked like a giant egg that had tiny arms and legs. He prbly couldn’t even wipe his own ass. And yet this was the guy who was supposed to be teaching us about physical fitness and how to stay healthy.

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Comments
  1. Michael says:

    Those who can’t do…teach!

  2. warriorwitch says:

    Very funny.

    I wish I had him for a gym teacher.

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